Red

We’d wrap our plump fingers around the sun warmed berries,
Red juice staining our teeth and palms,
Eating the stolen handfuls that marked us as thieves.

Under the bridge we’d dip our hands into the cool water,
Jumping into the thin flow of the stream,
The bicycles would rumble overhead as we grabbed at crayfish.
Their little claws snapping at the twigs we prodded them with.

Lifting our knees we splashed across the rolling water,
Only to find ourselves three months older once we’d crossed.

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8 thoughts on “Red

  1. You just totally took me back to my childhood. If I didn’t know better I’d say you were my brother, who sat in the bushes with me behind Mrs. Hunt’s house eating the plump, juicy purple grapes that grew hidden in them…. She told me later she had planted them years earlier just for that purpose…. or sitting in a cherry tree a couple of streets over filling ourselves on mid-summer cherries… Being chased away by the property’s owner every once in a while… Or my little sister, whose hand I held while strolling barefoot under the Vance’s mulberry tree and watching our toes turn purple….

    I just visited your “About” page where you said that you enjoy reader feedback because it might make you a better writer. As I look above at the incredible descriptors you used in this poem, bringing incredibly vibrant, colorful images to life in my mind, so incredibly powerful, I can only say, um, you’ve made it. I was on the fence about my conclusion until the last verse. But that pushed it right over the summer-break edge. Conclusion? This is better than any poem I have written in my 52 years of writing poetry, which I have been doing since age three. I’m so glad to be following you and now expect amazing things from you in the future… Good job….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much for your feedback, it’s really wonderful to know I created a connection like that with my poetry. I was debating whether or not I was ready to post this poem, but your comment shows me that I made the right decision to just do it. It was based off of the summers I spent with my younger brother; there’s something about that childhood bond that really is special.

      Like

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